The laptop is cold. The surface is smooth and anonymous, a gray slab of potential energy that currently serves only to reflect the faint, flickering fluorescent lights overhead. Alex has been sitting here for 41 minutes, which feels like three hours. The password, a jumble of 11 characters provided on a sticky note, grants access to a desktop populated with one icon: a link to the corporate intranet. And so began the mandatory HR videos.
For the next 121 minutes, a disembodied voice narrated the company’s policy on expense reports, its commitment to vague virtues, and a detailed breakdown of the fire evacuation plan for a building Alex has never seen. There was no mention of the team’s current project. No introduction to the 11 people who supposedly now depended on Alex’s work. No explanation of the codebase, the workflow, or the one critical goal for the quarter. Just a digital void filled with compliance modules.
This isn’t a hypothetical. This is the lived reality in thousands of companies, a ritual of profound neglect disguised as process. We talk about talent acquisition as a strategic battle, spending fortunes to attract the right people, only to greet them with a deafening silence and an IT ticket. Onboarding has become a dirty word for logistical box-checking. Did they get a laptop? Yes. Did they sign the NDA? Yes. Did they watch the videos? Yes. We measure the delivery of equipment, not the cultivation of belonging.
The Masterpiece of Mistake
And I’ll admit, I got this spectacularly wrong for years. I used to be the guy who believed the answer was a better checklist. I once spent an entire quarter building what I considered the Sistine Chapel of onboarding processes: a 121-item Trello board, automated, with every single task assigned, every link embedded, every department looped in. It was a masterpiece of administrative precision. And it failed. It failed because it was just a more organized version of the same fundamental mistake. It treated a human being like a server being provisioned. New hires were overwhelmed with tasks but starved of context. They knew what to click, but not why they should care.
We’ve mistaken information for integration.
The truth is simpler: a human being needs connection, not just a checklist.
📜
Information
🤝
Integration
I just deleted a paragraph I spent an hour writing, trying to explain this with a complex metaphor involving shipbuilding. It was awful. The truth is simpler. The problem is that we’ve mistaken information for integration.
Feel the Clutch: Luca P.’s Lesson
We’ve built our entire consumer lives around the opposite principle. We expect-no, we demand-seamlessness. When an app is clunky, we delete it. When a checkout process has one too many steps, we abandon the cart. The digital world has been meticulously engineered to eliminate friction, to make the user feel powerful and intuitive. The contrast is jarring. We can onboard ourselves into a complex new ecosystem in a matter of seconds. Take any modern digital storefront; the experience is designed for immediate value. Someone looking to purchase a specific digital good, like a service to شحن بيقو, can navigate, select, and complete the transaction in under a minute because the system was built around their intent. It anticipates their needs.
Anticipates needs, removes friction.
Chaotic operations, time not a priority.
Then that same person goes to their new job on Monday and is told to wait three days for their software licenses to be approved by someone named Brenda who is, apparently, on vacation. It’s organizational malpractice. It communicates, with brutal efficiency, that the company’s internal operations are chaotic and that the employee’s time is not a priority. It’s a first impression from which many never recover.
This isn’t about the money; it’s about the message.
The abandoned new hire doesn’t just feel bored; they feel like they’ve made a terrible mistake. The enthusiasm they walked in with begins to curdle into anxiety, then into resentment. They start to question the competency of the organization they just committed their career to. Every hour they spend refreshing an empty inbox is an hour spent polishing their résumé and checking LinkedIn. The cost of a bad onboard isn’t just lost productivity in week one; it’s a permanent cap on that employee’s potential for engagement. They learn from Day 1 that they are on their own.
Enthusiasm Curdling
So we try to fix it with more stuff. A better welcome kit-now with branded socks! A forced happy hour on Zoom where everyone stares at their own face. Another automated email from the CEO. These are just more elaborate forms of the same transactional mindset. They are decorations on a broken foundation.
The Human Touch: Building Belonging
The fix is simpler, and harder.
It requires true human investment, not just process optimization.
It requires a manager to block out four hours on their calendar, turn off their notifications, and just talk with their new team member. It requires assigning a dedicated buddy-not just a name on a chart, but someone whose job for the first week is to be a guide and a friend. It’s about giving them a small, meaningful, achievable task on Day 1. Not a monumental challenge, but a single brick to lay. Something that says, “Welcome. We’ve been waiting for you. Let’s build something.”
🫂
Buddy
🎯
Meaningful Task
💬
Dedicated Talk
It means shifting our primary metric. We need to stop asking, “Are they set up?” and start asking, “Do they belong?” The technology, the checklists, the paperwork-that’s all just infrastructure. The real work is human. It is the slow, deliberate, and deeply personal process of turning a stranger into a trusted colleague.